Chapter 9: At Least I'm Alive

Will: I love this feeling, but i'm lonely.... Where is my family? Where are my kids? Where is my life?

Will: Ahh, fuck it... I'm high.

Will full of happiness and comfort walks into a coffee shop

Patron: Ill, what is that smell?

Barista: Can you please step outside, sir

Will: Fuck off, you stuck up cunt

Will continues to jump over the counter and take every pastry and drink what he wants

Barista2: You need to leave sir, or we are calling the cops

Will: Go fuck your mother

The coffee shop workers proceed to call the police

Will: Fuck the police! Fuck the police!

Barista: Sir, please stop.....

Will: Eat an Asiago bagel and shut your trap whore

Will proceeds to smash Barista2 in the head with a napkin holder

Will: Shut up fuckface, No words are the best words

Will filled with thought:" I am immortal, this life cannot end and if it did this way, I would laugh my ass off in hell"

Will: Now everyone shut the fuck up

People stare at will with fear

Will: I have something to tell you all.... I have a bomb in my back pocket and it's going to blow. Please just make it happen!!

Police surround the shop

Will: Hey pigs, I got a whole lot of shit in here for you... Bring it!

Will jumps up on the counter

Will: I'm going to end the all now

Will looking a shit filled mule, jumps on the counter

Pigs: Get down, sir!!!

Will: FUCK YOU!!

Will leans over, grabs a black coffee mug and yells

Will: DIE FUCKERS

Will proceeds to fart loud, as the police only notice the black mug and shoot

::::::::Shooting:::::::::::

::::::::Farting::::::::::::

Will lying shot and full of blood

Will: Guessed wrong again dicks!

Cops fill the coffee shop with shit smell and death all around..... Will had no gun or any weapon at all... Just a shart and shit in his pants.

Will: (In a fading voice) Open shut case Johnson, we got our turd..... hahahahhaaha, assholes

:::::::::::::::::I'm beginning to feel like I;m a Rap God, Rap God:::::::::::::::::

FORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Golf ball whizzes by Will's head

Will: Asshole, can you wait? It's a Par 4? Douchebag!

Will: Wait, what?

Will: I guess it's just another one