Don't Call It A Comeback

:::::::::::::Win In the End, we're gonna win in the end:::::::::::

Will: What the flying fuck? Teen wolf..?

Will searching for his remote

Will: MUTE.... what the fuck??

Will thinking "shit a little 5 foot nothing making a difference.... I love this flick"

:::::::Will wakes up and watches 30 minutes of news:::::::

Will: Well, weed is practically legal... I woke up at the right time.

:::::::Random voice: Billy, get up!!:::::::::::

Will: I am! Jesus, shut the shit already..... Wait, who the fuck is that?

Consuela: Baby, come upstairs I made huevos ron cheddos

Will: Sweeeeet!

thinking: So she is a Mexican

Will: No doubt!

Will jumps up from his mattress on a concrete/dirt floor

Will: Owwwww.... Jesus... What happened to carpet? Or a hardwood floor? Jesus H

Will stumbles up stairs to an outdoor kitchen

Will: What's up.........you?

bewildered

Will: Where my eggs and cheese?

Consuela: You're plate is where it always is, Billy.

Will: Where is the stove?

Consuela: Mi amore, it's right here

as Consuela points besides her

Will: Well, I feel all this love for you all... It's weird, but I lived, loved, lied, died... So, let make this another final fuck up...

Will put all the gas on and reaches in his pocket

Will: This is my lighter, my lighter is my friend, I must light it for it to live, we all die and we all lived, but today we will all understand the best part of living...... BEING ALIVE!!!!!!!!

Will tries to spark the lighter to no avail

Will: I got a shitty lighter... This could be a sign...

Up walks dildohead and says, "Nah, I got you" SPARK

A Whole In Won

Will: Dude, I can't putt for shit!

James: Fuck that, just take the shot.

(Will proceeds to take 5 shots to knock in a 25 foot putt)

As he knocks it down

James: Nice, B!

Will: Yeah!

Will: I got a 15, you?

James: uh, 12...

Will: Get the F.... Ahh, okay.. Harry?

Harry: I lost my ball.... 

Will: OK, you get a 15.   

Will yells, "OK douche bags, you can shoot now" On to the next hole........

Will: I love Par 3's.... I bet I nail this... Closest to the hole $100...

James: You, me, and Harry ain't got $100

Harry: Yes I do...... Mostly tied up in stock and shit... Let's make it $5

Will: This went from could be fun to the only fun is knocking clean in the hole.

James: Yeah, you do that I'll suc.... Second thought, Harry will suck your dick

Harry: Fuck.... Nah, yeah hole in one... OK. you got it, BJ's all around. You too James.

James; Nah, I'm good

Will: Well, I got a premonition.. Someone is sucking my dick

Will lines up, really focused, feeling inner peace like never before, almost scared, but the butterflies in his stomach make him feel like Michael Jordan nailing the gaming winning shot against the Jazz... Visioning the wrist flicked and holding it there as if he were playing ball at the park....

Will: It's all splenda

Will hits the ball low with a crazy backspin using a 6 iron on a 167 yard Par 3

Will: It's on bitches! That's got a shot......

James: Holy shit!

Harry: No fucking way...

The ball rises straight at the hole, looking like it is going way over, but starts to descend

Will: I got it.... It's over... Get on your knees bitches

Harry: I never agreed to anything except closest to the hole $5

James laughing.....

The ball hits the green right at the fringe... striking the grass and rolling back fast

Will: Go, go, go, go.....

The ball on a bee-line towards the hole as it rolls up and about to drop in.....

A HUGE BLAST GOES OFF OVER THE OCEAN, far from where the guys are golfing... But, the blast of light and wind knock everyone down

James: what the fuck is that?

Will: Wild guess, a fucking nuke

Harry: What?

Will: No worries guys, been here before... Don't look at it and just stay down... In 2 minutes we takes the carts an jet to a location that has a basement

Harry: (almost crying) Billy... What the fuck? How many bennies are you on?

Will: None, if you knew what I knew... This is just another Double Dare obstacle course.

Will: Now! Let's go.... 

Will jumps into the golf cart, the guys all jump on in any place they can fit, leaving the other cart behind

James: You know where you're going right, B?

Will: Nah, bro.... Winging it

Harry: I knew it... Can't trust white people...

James: That's racist!

Will: Can you people shut the fuck up!

Harry and James in unison: "YOU PEOPLE"

Will: Oh, shut the fuck up....

Will in the cart racing for any shelter he can seek.... Comes upon a red public rest stop...Punches the breaks sending Harry and James flying off the cart

James after hitting the pavement and rolling....

James: What the fuck, B??

Will: Get in that fucking red thing

Harry: It's a fucking bathroom

Will: Whatever, get the fuck in there now!

The guys get in the red bathroom....

Will: Does this shithouse have paper towels?

Harry: No, they have a blower thing

Will: Fuck!

James: Nah wait, under this sink... Yo, we got paper, B

Will: Yo, wet all of them and stuff them under the door and the the creaks of the doors... just cover it all... I'll get the windows...

Harry: what are we doing?

Will: Dude, the winds were blowing toward us... Which means this radiation and all types of fucked up shit is likely headed this way!

They continue to use paper like a caulk. Wetting it and packing every crevice possible in this little red house

Will: I think we're good.... Just chill.... I gotta piss.

James: For real? That shit happened when the blast went off

Harry: Billy, seriously what the fuck is wrong with you? Why you so calm? I am having a heart attack, bro...

Will: Well, no better time to tell it than now... You ever seen the movie Groundhogs Day with Bill Murray?

James: Of course

Harry: I don't know

Will: Well, I have been going through tragic days over and over and over... I lost count... All I know is I am not afraid to die anymore. We need to stand up to this fear of not living and do our best to live. 

James and Harry look at Will as if he is insane

Will: I know you think I am crazy, but how did this day happen? Why are we here? Would us 3 ever really be playing golf??? I mean What the fuck?

::::::::Silence:::::::::::

Faces stone...

James: No... We would be a Mets game...

Will: Holy fucking A shit.... Exactly!

Harry: Dude, you would not be out at all....

Will: I know!

Will: Do you see what I mean... We are in some sort of time warp where things happen that never happen... But, you know what? I have had a great time today. Better than most days, definitely better than recent days. This is the most fun I've had in...in.... I don't fucking know when....

The guys laugh as the nuclear wind flows by and over the red house... Still laughing without a halt...

James: Damn Bill.... You never fail to make me laugh

Harry: Yeah, you a crazy white boy....

Will: You know what's really funny? I never pictured chilling with you two people at the same time..

In unison: "You two people"  ::::Laughter::::

Will: Guys, I am just truly glad to be around people I can trust. Family aside, I trust you guys. I hope you know I got your back to the end.

Harry: Can you get any gayer?

James: Word

Will: Fuckos... You know what I think? We ain't gonna die today. Let's open this door and walk out there and face what's there.....

Harry: It could be Nuclear Winter

Will: Yeah, but what the fuck is that really? Everyday is a Nuclear Winter, we walk through smog, we walk through everything nature throws at us as humans.... Fuck it.

James: I'm with you, B

Harry; No doubt

Will: Aiiight fuck it, let's do it

Will proceeds to tear all the paper down, everyone immediately coughing

Will: (coughing) You guys alright? 

James: Yeah, B. We got your back

Harry: Yeah, stop being a bitch

Will laughs

:::::::::::The beautiful people, The beautiful people::::::::::::

A significant choice, may feel right. But, may interrupt what may have been the life you have always dreamed of… Choices… We can all make them, once a day, every day. But, with that choice will you meet your life-long dreams or will you simply meet your demise…

Just live

Chapter 9: At Least I'm Alive

Will: I love this feeling, but i'm lonely.... Where is my family? Where are my kids? Where is my life?

Will: Ahh, fuck it... I'm high.

Will full of happiness and comfort walks into a coffee shop

Patron: Ill, what is that smell?

Barista: Can you please step outside, sir

Will: Fuck off, you stuck up cunt

Will continues to jump over the counter and take every pastry and drink what he wants

Barista2: You need to leave sir, or we are calling the cops

Will: Go fuck your mother

The coffee shop workers proceed to call the police

Will: Fuck the police! Fuck the police!

Barista: Sir, please stop.....

Will: Eat an Asiago bagel and shut your trap whore

Will proceeds to smash Barista2 in the head with a napkin holder

Will: Shut up fuckface, No words are the best words

Will filled with thought:" I am immortal, this life cannot end and if it did this way, I would laugh my ass off in hell"

Will: Now everyone shut the fuck up

People stare at will with fear

Will: I have something to tell you all.... I have a bomb in my back pocket and it's going to blow. Please just make it happen!!

Police surround the shop

Will: Hey pigs, I got a whole lot of shit in here for you... Bring it!

Will jumps up on the counter

Will: I'm going to end the all now

Will looking a shit filled mule, jumps on the counter

Pigs: Get down, sir!!!

Will: FUCK YOU!!

Will leans over, grabs a black coffee mug and yells

Will: DIE FUCKERS

Will proceeds to fart loud, as the police only notice the black mug and shoot

::::::::Shooting:::::::::::

::::::::Farting::::::::::::

Will lying shot and full of blood

Will: Guessed wrong again dicks!

Cops fill the coffee shop with shit smell and death all around..... Will had no gun or any weapon at all... Just a shart and shit in his pants.

Will: (In a fading voice) Open shut case Johnson, we got our turd..... hahahahhaaha, assholes

:::::::::::::::::I'm beginning to feel like I;m a Rap God, Rap God:::::::::::::::::

FORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Golf ball whizzes by Will's head

Will: Asshole, can you wait? It's a Par 4? Douchebag!

Will: Wait, what?

Will: I guess it's just another one